| Wednesday, August 30, 2006
In comparison to the past few days,i was feeling rather annoyed and pressured by him.He is less bothersome these days, for at least two days in school as of from yesterday... for that i am feeling much better,however the incessant mobile messagings and callings have not ceased yet.
He still finds it impossible to not message me or call me at least once a day.Tomorrow is the day of my freedom i guess=)because both projects gotta be handed in tomorrow.It will be a big load of my mind then, and i could well concentrate on three upcoming examinations.The saddest thing is that i had been working hard since i was sec one till sec five,achieving good grades in school that brought my family honour,but i felt that for this first semester in Shatec,i had on the contrary brought my family disgrace......The first semester is coming to a close soon...and my grades are "WOW"...."GORGEOUS"!***
I got back both of my housekeeping a n tourism papers already.Housekeeping i just merely scrape through with two marks upon 60 and tourism....i was right on that dot upon 40.....I wasn't being competitive,probably the early pressure from him had caused me to stress up of cause, i am partly to blame for not being able to take the situation under control and it worsens..I took my PMS test yesterday,and then i got the results today..i lost six marks for it,i was kinda slow in my keying in..but i manage to get a 30 half upon 40 which came as quite a surprise.
The results are rather shitty on the whole, i feel a disappointment and ashamed about it,I dun expect to be top,but i dun wanna be a scraper,i hope i will fall in between the average level,but my family remained supportive of me and told me to try my best.I got trouble,i could snuggle myself in the arms of my great granny and start screaming and complaining and whine like a little three year old,and they will all gather and listen to my woes....i feel rather fortunate...and that made me all the more...dun wanna disappoint them!!!.
Nevertheless,i am still gonna try my very best.I am beginning to lower the standards i have for myself apparently because i felt i might have been pushing myself too hard in this all new and strange enviroment that i am still adapting to.
Quit saying he is in love or infatuated with me!!!i haven't even thought about this at all....So many of you are telling me that......Obviously, he is not someone i would like to have for a partner.He is a nice guy...but just too perfect for me.I am a lady full of flaws,----Ugly,clumsy,stupid,short,plump,eats and dirty the mouth easily.Thus,definitely,UHUH!i am not the one.
Yesterday.my class had dinner at Petals,the dinner was like Urghh...i did not find the food good like what the others in my class had felt.I had many reservations though,however not caring to voice my views.I took a short "tour"at raffles city and did some thinking and brooding....i manage to calm myself down a little.AT LEAST...I always kept telling myself,all is over.i have to look ahead....but you get it???it is rather difficult for me because i feel indebted to my family....T-T"
Why the hell am i feeling like that?LIFE IS HOPELESS WITH CHRIST!this was what was quoted meaning we have nothing to hope for at all in this world,therefore...nothing should bother us..but i am DARN IRRITABLE EMOTIONAL!!SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!ahha=)
ANYWAY,i am gonna HWAITTING!!!!!-_-"LIFE IS SUCH THAT WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING!SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE KNOCKINGMYSELF TO DEATH!I wanna smile right from the bottom of my heart!anyone help?????Please pray for me!!!AJA AJA!!!!CHINLI!
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Created at 8:27 PM
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| Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tons of stuff i got to clear, it is a relief that after the third edition today,the stinking tourism project is done , at least for now.However, i am afraid i gotta edit it again.I had to lug this responsibility because of Mr perfectionist so called "trust"in me,however, he adds stress to me!!!T-T"Who can i turn to for help?GOD and Obba...but Obba ain't here...T-T"
Mr perfectionist can really kill me, loads me with a mountain of words and thereoticals facts.MY GOODNESS!who the heck does not know how to copy and paste!!!!!Was feeling really miserable the past two days, i practically slept 4 hours each day and ate really little. When pressure starts, these sympthoms just show their true colours.Mr perfectionist does not seemed to trust two people in our group at all and condemns them, i feel it is kinda unfair.Everyone gotta do their job well before they send it to me but it is a whole load of "cut and paste",no edition nothing, some did of cause.I had to do every aspect on my own!!!!Got myself drown in tears over that....because it was really too much too bear for me yesterday.I got screamed at by my "Pups" too for nearly wanting to skip the sumptous dinner.
I AM WHAT I AM!....i don't want to ask for help from people whom i think will not listen or help me,and for those real close.I would feel bad as i am afraid i am gonna be a bother.I wish my shinhwa is here...they will understand...i see them i feel at least even better.....
The pressure is rising.I have PMS test next week and two days later..Front office...then after that the next week....english,tourism and housekeeping EXAMINTAION.
Everyone around me is stress with the motivation of not being able to study!!!!HAISH!i understand that because it seemed that i am getting affected too..There is too much to do that people just don't feel like striving or continueing anymore....so THIS IDIOM IS JUST SO FACTUAL!--------LIFE-LONG LEARNING...People..learn till you drop dead!....NO MOTIVATION? it is all pcychology,you got to concentrate and not let your heart rule....Got to find a suitable place to study..definitely not on the bed or counch...or you'll be "Brother JOHN"...caught my joke?-_-"ahha=)
Anyway, AJA !AJA !HWAITTING!Some people says i have split personality...DO I?just because i sound a bit more different online...i am HYDE AND JACKAL?On msn, i talked more because i need not face people and people need not hear my high-pitched voice,but in school,i am there to study so why the heck should i talk excessively?Anyway,i don't even know you people well except "POPO"^0^"
These days, i think of Obba a lot.I don't know,maybe because i feel lethargic and tired...whenever i do, he comes into my mind. I got the hots for even more sad woeful tunes because i don't know-_-"i just like sad songs all the while...They are lovely and sentimental.....but i am not SADISTIC!
These past coming to two years...Have i been really glad or happy?WHY he is so mean?to rob me of my smile and laughter?why do i always think of him?why do i get weird and uncomfortable when i see couples on the streets?why do i always feel like sobbing when i hear "Gonna be alright"?Am i gonna be alright?Does he really know how i really feel?I am scared, tired and afraid of many many things......but i always remain positive because i think it is important to be..but why ain't i really smiling from my heart at all..WHY?왜왜왜왜왜왜??
The thought of this is wrenching and bone-chillingT-T"내 마음에 대단히아프다T-T"Nevertheless...i got to tell myself life still goes on...Yea right....SUPERJUNIOR.."LIFE COULDN"T GET BETTER!"huh?BYASSA!I am always cheering people up and i feel nice at that...i guess probably i am just like a"SICK"angel..i help people, i feel it is nice to help people but when it happens to me...i am helpless.WHAT A HYPOCRITE I AM!i cannot practice what i preach.aha.
My Shinhwa!you guys have to be strong okay!!!!=)HWAITTING!
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Created at 9:41 PM
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| Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I'VE GOT THE STOMACH FLU!!AHCHOOSH.......
I WANNA WATCH "GOONG"i am barred from it!MY LIFE 'S MISERABLE!
I ponned school for two days,today is my second day....i DREAD it.I did not ponned of cause, i FEEL LIKE SHIT.My head spins,my body ache all over,I feel like vomiting,Constipated, ain't FUTTING anymore, in addition caught the cough and flu...WHAT THE HELL!Am i in the gallows???It seemed like i had turned EIGHTY within just two days...so haggard and pale-looking.I badly and desperately wanna go to school, i will miss so much lessons and will be lagging behind by quite a bit, because i seriously had no idea what was taught yet.I wonder if i am gonna have a hard time catching up.T-T"
Mum forbid me to go to school today.She was afraid i might suffer BRAIN DAMAGE and become some RETARD OR SLOW REFLEX human girl, after she heard the nurse reminiscing the story of her brother who fell ill and did not take good care...BLAHBLAH..and TADA....he became ULTRA SLOW in whatever he did.Mum bought that..well..i giggled at that.SHE bribed me with TWENTY BUCKS not to go to school.AHHA!i gladly obliged.She was afraid that the LONG ARDOUS JOURNEY to school might KILL me, seemed like i am pictured as some SICK LADY CLIMBING THE MOUNT EVEREST???=)
Poof!I am a sick girl,and the bed look so INVITING all the time, i just feel like laying there like the "SLEEPING BEAUTY"..probably not "THE SLEEPING DWARF OR SICK DOG" But i am heavy laden with THE HOUSEKEEPING PROJECT. This had been giving me the HEADACHES, the moment i talk about it, i cannot help but keep sighing continuously.HAISHH!Got quite a couple of stress and pressure from the "PERFECTIONIST".He is BEST!His pace is extremely great!but i cannot catch up with him,i get breathless.It seems like me and him are the only ones doing the project.I feel so tired!T-T"and there he makes me feel guilty about my ABSENCE in school,WHAT THE HECK,i did not choose to be sick.I hate those taunts and jeers from him.The last thing i need are those, GIVE ME A BREAK!Quit teasing me, i am feeling SHITTY!I wanna joke too but i can't at the moment.
Now the thermometer and the wide array of pills and bottles of colourful liquids are my FRIENDS!I just eat them and munch those freshly peeled chestnuts my granny made for me,eat fruits,lay at the couch like some dead corpse.
I am gonna do my stuff right now,HOUSEKEEPING PROJECT T-T"...TATA...
Take care and god bless^o^
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Created at 10:17 AM
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| Friday, August 11, 2006
I had an english test today,i can just tell you what a MORON i had been while attempting to finish the first section which was "parts of speech".I just felt embarrassed that i can just dig a hole to hide my head,probably not, practically just buried myself underground.
HOW COULD ANYONE MAKE SUCH A EASY PEASY FOOLISH MISTAKE!!!!I mistook that i was suppose to alter the words "pronoun" and "preposition"... I mean it was like not clear....SO UNFAIR! HMPF!...i feel like throwing a screaming fit.WHAT THE HECK!!!You might laugh till you cry if you were Ms Tong,my english teacher,or might even kill me for being AN UTTER IDIOT!I wrote "PREPOSITIONING" and "PRONOUCING" for both.....-_-" Worst of...i alter both and both did not make sense in the passage and i was really mad enough not to realise it. SOME SHITHEADED GIRL I WAS!Lost TWO MARKS! GA ARGH!I guess i was too CONCENTRATED INTO IT that cause my negligence at that moment. T-T"
Are you sure it is a test?My goodness!
With people whispering and giggling quietly,betting if answers were right, boldly tapping and punching on their mobiles in front of the teacher, WHAT WAS IRONICAL WAS THAT my TRAINER witnessed and even laughed...WHAT ON EARTH IS THE WORLD COMING ROUND TO? AM I ON MARS?or practically some people around me are "ALIENS"?or on the contrary, i am the alienated one=)
A few niceties happened today though=)but i was rather unpleased with the late release from school every Friday ever since the PMS lesson was rescheduled for my group, pose a ULTRA GREAT inconvenience to me and definitely not forgetting the"FRIDAY BLUES"
Well,i was at esplanade today.I am some "suaku".I don't really hang out often unless i feel like or got invited by friends,besides my days are PACKED with mountains of words,theoreotical facts.It was my first time there since that "HUMONGOUS DURIAN WAS BUILT", that i apparently felt don't look like a durian at all, in addition, that is my most "YUCKY YEEKY FRUIT"..NO WAY IS IT GONNA MAKE ITS SPIKES INTO MY GROCERY BASKET"!=)Therefore, it is quite a disgust to me, but i love the beautiful view of the sea they have there=)....Breathtaking i felt=)
WEEOHWEET!!!i love the ESPLANADE MRT FLOOR!...Some of the breakdancers there ain't bad....COOL!=)I am motivated to learn also,i earnestly hope someone coaches me, the last time i tried at home on my own,i nearly twisted my elbow.WHAT A LETDOWN! but it seemed i am rather up to my neck in school, i have not much time to set aside for other stuff,besides ONLY STUDY!Anyway, the fireworks were really beyong your imagination and rather unexplanable unless you were there to catch it for that pathetic,memorable fifteen minutes.I suffered much for that because ONE ABSOLUTE THING, I HATE CROWDS!!!!,because i am one unlucky fellow who gets MUGGED AND PUSHED ABOUT in such commotions.I got a kick at the waist that stings when some kid tried to manuover through the sitting cohord, a gay guy kneeing the back of my head,kicking my thighs and stepping slightly on my light-coloured berms!!!I am not petty...but it is a fact,this happens in CROWDS!The last time, my friends nearly got pushed into the BUSH, and got involve in some childish quarrels.However,i felt it might have been worthwhile since the fireworks display was really NICE!i like that waterfall effect with splashing and sizzling of the water waves=)I am gonna go again tomorrow again=)
That is about all.I have too many comments.Take care and God bless!
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Created at 11:59 PM
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| Thursday, August 03, 2006
An nyung haseyo!!!!!
Nan wasseo!!!!!!oreunmariya!!!!!!Chingu ya!!!jal ji naess ji??????Mianhamnida.....geu wae o myeon.. yo geum nan neo mu ba bbeuda!!!!......si gani jinjja eopseoyo...dae dan hi jwesonghae.....This is me(latest)...if you like haven't seen me for quite some time....I AM MUCH BLOATED!!!ahha......
Ah...jam.......Oneul....nan neo mu pi gon hae geu ri gu seul peo sseo.......!!!T-T"I LOST MY DARN TOURISM BOOK THAT COST 42 bucks....have a bit of notes in it......luckily most of my notes in paper..but my heart ache...my mum's heart too......i think i have to get a new one.....so nice of both of my friends putting in so much effort to look for it...so appreciative and grateful to both of you=).....i am happy to know you guys help me=).....THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!I lost it at a newspaper cum drink kiosk along bukit batok......i went to bought my last "lianhe zaobao"after receiving news that shinhwa was in the papers....and i satisfactorily left the stall and went looking for my friend....and forget all about it until i reach outram park.....AT THE STUPID MOMENT....i felt like a MORON and utter FOOL and IDIOT....my hands were empty..where was the EFFING red book?.........i got panicky......i broughtit home because a test will be approaching two weeks later......GREAT!now that i lost it.....i felt like some HINDRANCE AND IT IS REALLY A BOTHER AND IRRITABLE PROCEDURE.....
First-i inconvenience JW and TF(running about for my book)
Second- i broke mum's heart and pocket because of my stupidity and carelessness and blurness
Third-It's hard to get the book......second hand not sure also.....but i already lke that book ...more than a month old and i lost it....ALL BOILS DOWN TO ALL MY FAULT!!ARGHH!!!!WHY????/WHY?
Second "great"thing ,housekeeping test kinda hard i felt...i am rather afraid i get horrific results...ahha.....but i leave everything to god...no point fretting water that is poured long ago...he has plans already paved for me ahead in my future life....=)Probably i lost that book was destined too.....my intention was good....was to bring home to revise but i lost it.....i wun say heaven is unfair..because i BEG TO DIFFER.......Heaven is not...i lose something,i gain something=)..which i believe is true....
Talked to rei today=).....happy she is getting on rather well now...no longer sick so often...and WOW....she is a "Knock out" i guesss...tons of guys going after her.....ahha...well....she is YAEPPEUDA!!!!SEKSI=).....ahha.....
Obba!!!!!ji geum mwo hae?????ba bbeuda???ahha=).....KYUNG RAE BYUNG JANG NIM!!!!!!=)
That's about all!!!do take care and god bless you guys!!!!!
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Created at 11:20 PM
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íë¡í
Name: í¸ì¹ë¦¬/í¬ì¤í´
Nickname: íê·
Age: 18
Birthday: 1988/10/08
Shatec DHM student
ì¹êµ¬
ì§ì°
Jianwen
Gwen
Robin
Jasmine
Derek
Rei
Nicole
Judi
Murdoc
Viet
Shing
Express
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